Guess what vampires don’t do?

This is the post where you read a fact you probably already knew about me: I am not a Twilight fan.

And that’s putting my Twilight sentiments mildly. In fact, I only begrudgingly capitalize the T in Twilight. I read the series out of a sense of obligation (I found it somewhat close-minded to hate a book series I had never read), but the 4th book angered me so much that I had to stop reading it and call a friend to give me a brief, painless summary of what happened after Bella became a vampire.

Twilight, how do I hate thee? Let me count the ways:

1. The human romantic lead in a vampire love story should not–I repeat, not, end up a vampire.

2. Teens should not marry simply to satisfy their desire to have sex.

3. Edward is a womanizing, misogynistic, overly controlling, abusive boyfriend who enters Bella’s life as a STALKER and I find it almost criminal that anyone would try to market such an unhealthy relationship to impressionable pre-teen and teenaged girls.

4. Last on this abridged hate list, and most important, VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE! They just don’t.

I’m sorry, that really wasn’t the point of this post. The point of this post was to tell you excellent news! The world of young adult literature is improving! Each year, an event called Children’s Book Week calls young people to vote in several categories including Teen Choice Book of the Year and Author of the Year. 2009 was a sad year for this voting, as Teen Choice Book of the Year was Breaking Dawn, and Author of the Year was Stephenie Meyer. No, seriously. But not to fear! By 2010 things were looking up, and the Teen Choice Book of the Year was Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins; Author of the Year was James Patterson.

This year, I’m happy to announce that all Stephenie Meyer books are off the docket for Teen Choice Book of the Year. However, Stephenie herself is still in the running for Author of the Year. Fight the insanity! Vote now for someone more deserving! (Preferably Suzanne Collins, but your choice is your own. Unless you vote for Meyer, in which case you are banned from my blog, an exile to be enforced by my personal army of Dementors, Ring Wraiths, Stormtroopers, and various other scary hordes.)

Also, please note that the unparalleled John Green and the incredible David Levithan’s book Will Grayson, Will Grayson is up for Teen Choice Book of the Year. Vote wisely, my friends.

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